Is There Anyone Less Interested Than Me?

About what, you ask?  Oh, you know, the Kardashians/Jenners/entourage/etc?  I’m guessing there isn’t anyone LESS interested, but I will allow that I most likely have a lot of company down here at subzero.

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Family Fun

I can’t understand why Meghan Markle wouldn’t want the vast majority of her extended family at her wedding.  After all, they seem like such warm, caring, selfless people, only interested in seeing her happy.

Eyes Front, Please

When I was in school, after every test there was that group of people who wanted to sit around and analyze every question and how they had answered – trying to decide if they had gotten it right or not.  I wasn’t one of those people.  It wasn’t that I didn’t care about my grades, but rather that I knew that test was ‘done’.  Nothing I did at that point was going to change my answer or change that it was right or wrong.  When I got the test back, then I could review any incorrect answers and try to determine what I didn’t understand.  Sure, a bad test grade would affect my overall class grade, but I still couldn’t change the fact that was the grade I had gotten on the test.  All I could do at that point, was try to do any extra-credit work that might raise my grade, study harder or seek help if I was struggling to understand a concept so I passed subsequent tests, and make sure my work was as good as possible.

Let’s face it, after you’ve driven off the cliff, it’s too late to decide that maybe you should have heeded the speed limit signs and slowed down on that winding road.

Don’t waste time agonizing over things in your past that you can’t change.  Focus on now and the future and make whatever changes necessary so that you don’t make the same mistakes again.  Too much time looking back is when you tend to run into something unseen ahead.  The past is a learning tool, but it shouldn’t be a deadweight.

Grow, learn, move forward.

Seriously, people?

I’ve mentioned that I’m not keen on swearing, particularly when it involves the use of a certain word beginning with F.  I find it objectionable and offensive.  And since swearing is usually used for emphasis or to express extreme anger, over-frequent use renders these words irrelevant to any purpose.

That said, how is it that adults, including government officials who were elected to serve the people, can do nothing but focus on idiotic details like that and completely ignore the larger message.

Frankly, every adult in America is being put to shame by these kids fighting for stronger gun control.  They’re KIDS.  They’re in school.  They shouldn’t have to be doing this because it is our responsibility as adults to be doing it.  Instead, a significant portion of the population of the U.S., including its ‘President’ do nothing but hem, haw, sit on their hands and criticize these kids for every little thing.

It isn’t kids posting photoshopped images to discredit these gun control advocates, it’s adults.  Adults with a vested interest in changing nothing and reaping the monetary benefit thereof.

I’ve long been patriotic.  I’ve long supported our military.  I have no problem with responsible gun ownership.  I’ve even long been a Republican.  But now I am embarrassed, even ashamed, to call myself an American when I see what we have become.

No, it isn’t all adults failing to act, it isn’t all gun owners who are willing to protect gun rights above everything else, and it isn’t all Republicans or politicians who are blind and deaf to an epidemic issue in our country.  This isn’t just happening in schools, folks.  It happens in workplaces, malls, movie theatres or even just on the street.  If you’re sitting there thinking that this problem belongs to the kids, you’re wrong.  It may be you while you attend a concert in Las Vegas.  It may be you while you are driving your car down the road.  Do nothing, and it may very well be you the next time.  And there WILL be a next time again and again unless we do something.

Choosing to attack the messenger because you have no valid argument against the message itself only reflects poorly on you.

It’s That Time of Year Again

No, not spring – that’s still a little ways off, and spring cleaning with it.  I’m not referring to the Winter Olympics either.  No, I’m looking at you Valentine’s Day.

Sadly, as with many other holidays, this has become a commercial nightmare, but I get the impression that in this case most people are willing to buy into it.  I see ads for things that are probably on her ‘list’, and there are numerous jokes about what happens should some hapless guy NOT get a gift that is big enough or expensive enough to suit the girl’s expectations.  Now, there might be instances of role reversal where the girl falls short of the guy’s expectations, but really retail America is all about the guy delivering and delivering handsomely to ‘show’ his love.

I admit, I have no significant other.  Should I blame the fact that I just don’t see how big, expensive gifts ‘prove’ anything, other than the willingness to spend money which you may or may not have?  I’m afraid if that’s the case, I will continue to be single and ‘unpaired’.  I can think of many ways for a guy or anyone else to show their love for me, but throwing money around isn’t on the list.  Sure, gifts are nice, but being able to buy something expensive just isn’t a major sign of love in my book.  How many wildly wealthy people do we see every day who are incapable of sustaining a lasting relationship?  The money and ‘big expensive presents’ didn’t salvage those.

So, what’s the point of this blog post?  I don’t know, maybe just to encourage lovers to re-evaluate what constitutes showing love.  Stop expecting, even demanding, a lot of money be spent every Feb. 14 or the relationship suffers.  Look for more worthwhile things:  thoughtful gestures/actions, a single flower in the middle of July for no particular reason other than they were thinking of you, treating you with respect, honesty, concern for your well-being.

And it goes both ways.  The burden shouldn’t be entirely on the male to ‘show’ their love; women should be doing it also.  If you can’t think of anything at all to give him, then maybe you seriously need to get to know him better.  There are bound to be things he would appreciate your doing without his having to ask.  If he really loves to watch football games on tv, then maybe prepare a lot of goodies, let him invite his friends over and stay out of the way while they enjoy their guy stuff.  Maybe even have him prepare a shopping list and buy his groceries for him while the game is on, just because you know he hates going to the store.

Yes, romance, flowers and even sex might be included in your Valentine’s Day celebration, but if that is the only thing you can think of as a way to show your love, maybe it isn’t love.  Maybe it’s just lust.  True love involves a great deal more than time in bed.  And true love adds beauty to everything else.  I may not have it, but I recognize it.

Lesson for Today

Guess what!  There is more than one word in the dictionary that begins with F.  Sadly, most of humanity only seems to know that one word, and uses it when expressing anything and everything.

It’s time people learn to use some of those other words in sentences.

The Age of Insanity

Through the course of my life, I’ve seen walls of prejudice, bigotry, and hatred crumble and fall.  It wasn’t a fast process, but gradually ideas and opinions changed, there was greater understanding and tolerance.  Neither was it a painless process, and many people suffered many indignities to bring about those changes, but they believed the effort was worth it.

The past few years, more and more, I’m seeing a regression to earlier intolerance and violence.  And, tragically, those whose responsibility it is to provide leadership in resisting such negative change are not only failing to step up, but often actively seem to incite it.

I don’t know what will come during the rest of my days on earth.  I hope reason returns, and quickly.  Until then, Thank You to those of you who refuse to fall prey to the insanity.

Thank You to those who look at the people around you and lend a helping hand when it is needed.

Thank You to those who commandeer pickup trucks to shuttle wounded to hospitals.

Thank You to those who give of their own time and money to send aid to an island in desperate straits, whose own government not only has failed them, but mocked them while doing so.

Thank You to those who waded in to help after the devastation of Texas, Florida and the numerous Caribbean islands that were unable to withstand nature’s assaults.

Thank You to those who hold doors for people, smile at the overworked person assisting you in a place of business, or offer encouragement and aid to a parent struggling with a child in meltdown.

Thank You for seeing pain and trying to relieve it as best you can.  Thank You for refusing to join the mindless masses who turn a blind eye or think ‘warm thoughts’ replaces a helping hand.

We are the family of mankind.  All families have squabbles, but this family needs to remember that despite the problems, we are all in this together.  We all need someone and we all have something worthwhile to give.

Thank You.

Apologies

In the past twenty years or so, it has become common for some group or another to want an apology for how their ancestors were treated by someone else’s ancestors.  We should apologize to Native Americans because of what our ancestors did to them in coming to America, or apologize to descendants of slaves for their ancestors having been enslaved in the first place, or Germany apologize to the world for Nazis and Hitler and World War II.

The trouble is, what does that accomplish?  It doesn’t change history one iota.  More important is how we conduct ourselves now.  Maybe my ancestors had slaves, or maybe they didn’t.  Maybe if they did they mistreated them, or maybe they didn’t.  Nothing I say or do will change that, but I can decide how I will act toward others, be they black, Native American or anything else.

If I’m going to apologize, it should be for what I did wrong, and could therefore have prevented if I made different choices.  Otherwise, my apology has little meaning or effect.  And I shouldn’t be wantonly doing things, thinking that an after-the-fact apology makes it “all better”, as so many public figures and celebrities do.  It’s like those people who say “pardon my French” after they swear, but make no effort not to swear in the first place.  The apology is simply meant to absolve them of the wrongdoing and allow them to go on their merry way.

We can do better, and should.  I can do better, and will.

Just For Today

Just for today, let’s all try not to say anything mean, cruel, thoughtless or unkind.  Then, if we survive restraining our vitriol today, we can do it again tomorrow.  And the next day, and the next day, ad infinitum.

Who’s with me on this?