No, not spring – that’s still a little ways off, and spring cleaning with it. I’m not referring to the Winter Olympics either. No, I’m looking at you Valentine’s Day.
Sadly, as with many other holidays, this has become a commercial nightmare, but I get the impression that in this case most people are willing to buy into it. I see ads for things that are probably on her ‘list’, and there are numerous jokes about what happens should some hapless guy NOT get a gift that is big enough or expensive enough to suit the girl’s expectations. Now, there might be instances of role reversal where the girl falls short of the guy’s expectations, but really retail America is all about the guy delivering and delivering handsomely to ‘show’ his love.
I admit, I have no significant other. Should I blame the fact that I just don’t see how big, expensive gifts ‘prove’ anything, other than the willingness to spend money which you may or may not have? I’m afraid if that’s the case, I will continue to be single and ‘unpaired’. I can think of many ways for a guy or anyone else to show their love for me, but throwing money around isn’t on the list. Sure, gifts are nice, but being able to buy something expensive just isn’t a major sign of love in my book. How many wildly wealthy people do we see every day who are incapable of sustaining a lasting relationship? The money and ‘big expensive presents’ didn’t salvage those.
So, what’s the point of this blog post? I don’t know, maybe just to encourage lovers to re-evaluate what constitutes showing love. Stop expecting, even demanding, a lot of money be spent every Feb. 14 or the relationship suffers. Look for more worthwhile things: thoughtful gestures/actions, a single flower in the middle of July for no particular reason other than they were thinking of you, treating you with respect, honesty, concern for your well-being.
And it goes both ways. The burden shouldn’t be entirely on the male to ‘show’ their love; women should be doing it also. If you can’t think of anything at all to give him, then maybe you seriously need to get to know him better. There are bound to be things he would appreciate your doing without his having to ask. If he really loves to watch football games on tv, then maybe prepare a lot of goodies, let him invite his friends over and stay out of the way while they enjoy their guy stuff. Maybe even have him prepare a shopping list and buy his groceries for him while the game is on, just because you know he hates going to the store.
Yes, romance, flowers and even sex might be included in your Valentine’s Day celebration, but if that is the only thing you can think of as a way to show your love, maybe it isn’t love. Maybe it’s just lust. True love involves a great deal more than time in bed. And true love adds beauty to everything else. I may not have it, but I recognize it.